How Childhood Trauma Can Impact Your Self-Esteem and Relationships — And What You Can Do About It

How childhood trauma can affect your self-esteem and relationships, and what you can do about it

If you’ve ever wondered why your relationships sometimes feel like a rollercoaster, full of confusion, pain, or distance, you’re definitely not alone. A lot of us carry invisible wounds from childhood trauma that shape how we see ourselves and how we connect with others.

I want to talk with you about how those early experiences impact your self-esteem and your attachment style, and ultimately, how you show up in your relationships today. More importantly, I want you to know there’s hope for healing.

What Is Childhood Trauma, Anyway?

Childhood trauma can be anything from feeling ignored, abandoned, or unsafe as a kid — maybe it was abuse, neglect, or just growing up in an unpredictable environment. What matters is that those early years create deep impressions on your emotional world.

Your brain and heart learn how to cope, often by protecting yourself in ways that made sense back then, but don’t always serve you now.

How Trauma Affects Your Self-Esteem

When you grow up feeling unloved or unheard, it’s easy to start believing things like: “I’m not good enough,” “I’m unworthy of love,” or “There’s something wrong with me.” These thoughts stick around, even into adulthood.

Low self-esteem shows up in many ways: maybe you struggle to speak up, doubt your worth, or stay stuck in unhealthy patterns because deep down you don’t feel you deserve better.

Attachment Styles — Why You Relate the Way You Do

Attachment is just a fancy word for how you connect to others, especially those closest to you. When your early caregivers weren’t consistent or safe, it can create different attachment styles:

• Anxious: You crave closeness but fear being abandoned.

• Avoidant: You push people away because intimacy feels unsafe.

• Disorganized: You feel stuck between wanting connection and fearing it.

None of these styles are “wrong” — they’re survival strategies your younger self developed. But they can cause challenges in adult relationships, like trust issues, jealousy, or emotional distance.

How This Plays Out in Your Relationships

If you’re struggling with self-esteem and attachment wounds, your relationships might feel like a constant tug-of-war — wanting closeness but also feeling scared, or settling for less than you deserve because you don’t feel worthy of better.

This can lead to patterns of repeating painful dynamics or feeling lonely even when you’re with someone.

Healing Is Possible — And You Don’t Have to Do It Alone

Here’s the good news: healing from childhood trauma and building healthy self-esteem and attachments is possible. It takes courage, patience, and the right support.

That’s where I come in. Together, we can gently unpack those old wounds, rewrite the stories you tell yourself, and help you build stronger, more loving connections, starting with how you relate to yourself.

If you’re ready to take that next step toward healing and empowerment, I’m here for you. Let’s connect and start your journey. I offer individual sessions online, as well as hold retreats and sacred circles in Phoenix, Arizona.

Book a consultation call with me because you deserve to heal and thrive!